Today
by C. Elizabeth Weaver
Summary: "I've lost her. I've lost everything I've ever wanted." Loosely based on Gary Allen's Today. Story is much better than summary. H/Hr.
1. Chapter 1

_So I could be working on one of my other stories, but this one popped into my head after I turned on the radio the other day in the car. I fell in love with the song almost instantly. If you want to hear the inspiration for this story, the song is called "Today" by Gary Allen. I might reference it once or twice in the story... who knows, I might even put most of the lyrics in here, I really don't know. Anyway, I hope you love the song as much as I do and I hope you see how the story fits in with it._

_Just so you know, I'll be jumping between past and present. To make it easier, I'll put scenes from the past in italics. Anytime that Harry's thinking about the past, though, it'll stay normal, because he's in the present, thinking. You'll get the hang of it. _

_Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor the song "Today" by Gary Allen. I do, however, own a huge pink fluffy bunny stuffed animal... fear me._

3:26 PM, Friday, the 26th of March.

He glanced at the clock and sighed, running his fingers through his hair for the umpteenth time that day. He needed to get his mind off things- correction, he needed to get his mind off **her**_._ He walked into the bathroom and stripped down before turning the shower on. The water was steaming and when he reached his hand out to feel the water, the scalding liquid felt like flames licking his hand.

Harry jumped into the water and cringed when it touched his skin. Within a few minutes, however, he was glad for the temperature. The water was hot enough to numb his body; now he just had to wait for it to numb his brain. He yearned for the day to be over so he could go on living his life, if that's what you want to call it.

After graduation from Hogwarts five years ago, Harry felt lost. Voldemort was dead, defeated in the final battle in Harry's seventh year. Hogwarts was really the only thing he had, and since he could not longer stay there, he figured he'd try to scavenge the old dream of being an auror.

Surprisingly, the Ministry let him in almost without question. He was sent off to his first mission a few days after he was hired and it went well. Since Voldemort died, the Death Eaters had no idea what to do with themselves and settled on wreaking havoc, trying to spread the Dark Lord's message across the world. They had converted hundreds of people (either voluntarily or forcibly, Harry was still not sure) and Harry had to go "round them up".

Everyone else seemed to have moved on with their lives as well. He and Ginny tried dating in their 7th year, but it didn't work out and the relationship fell apart within months; the two parted ways and figured they were better friends than lovers. The last he heard, Ginny was playing Quidditch for the Harpies and was one of their star chasers.

Ron and Hermione dated for about a year after the war, but after the constant arguments and fights the two finally called it quits, especially after Ron's affair with Lavender Brown on his and Hermione's one year anniversary. That had been a hard time for the trio, worse than the fight between the two in fifth year. Harry, on the outside, had refused to take sides in the argument- both sides hadn't exactly been angels. However, he knew that Hermione was right and was there to comfort her whenever she needed it.

_Perhaps that was when he fell in love with her. All Harry knew was that one day, the two were sitting outside in Hermione's yard. She was reading a book- what else would she be doing- and he was staring at the sky. Something caught the corner of his eye; he turned to find Hermione crying softly. Her hair was off the one side, and her hand was hesitating on the corner of the page. She looked so sad, so… beautiful. Harry's breath caught in his throat. At that moment, it hit him. He was in love with Hermione Granger, his best friend. _

_ Not wanting to seem like a prick, he wiped the tear from her face and asked her what was wrong. _

_ "Nothing," she said, blushing a little and turning back to the book._

_ Harry raised an eyebrow. "Hermione… something has to be wrong. Don't lie to me. What is it?"_

_ Hermione smiled a little. "You're going to think that I'm stupid."_

_ He was a little taken aback. "I'd never think you're stupid, 'Mione."_

_ She paused a little. "It's nothing… the main character just planned a vow renewal for his anniversary without telling his wife. She thought she was going to her daughter's wedding and it turned out to be her own. He had forgotten their anniversary the year before, and this is what he did to make it up to her. It's… it's beautiful." _

_ Harry leaned against the tree, staring up at the clouds again. "Sounds… romantic, I guess," he said a little stiffly, slightly uncomfortable with the situation._

_ Hermione chuckled and looked back at the book, biting her lip. Harry watched her out of the corner of his eye. He had no idea when he did, or how he did, but somehow, somewhere along the way, he had fallen for the person who had been in front of him for all these years._

_ After that day, he couldn't get Hermione out of his head. The way she smiled. The way she laughed. Hell, even the way she scolded him was mesmerizing. He couldn't talk to Ron about his feelings, of course. Ginny was out of the question, but he needed to talk to someone. He wished Sirius was here… he would know what to do. He couldn't talk to Lupin or Dumbledore. He crossed off people in his head; they were either deceased or too involved in the Ron/Hermione scenario to offer good advice. That left one person. He sighed and then apparated away._

_Thankfully, Luna was home. The singing coming from the open windows proved that the owner was there. Harry hesitated at the door, his hand suspended in mid-air. Did he really want to involve Luna in this? No… but he desperately needed someone to talk to. _

_ Suddenly, the door opened. The first thing Harry noticed was a pungent scent wafting from inside. It made his eyes water and he coughed. He looked up at Luna, who had her wand tucked behind her ear. Her hair was all over the place and she had this wild look in his eye; Harry figured it was from smelling the noxious fumes for Lord knows how long.  
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_ Her face broke into a wide smile. "Hello, Harry. Nice to see you today. Would you like to come in?" she asked, stepping aside. Harry took a deep breath of fresh air and nodded, stepping over the threshold. "Well, this is a nice surprise," Luna said, walking back of to her kitchen area. She stirred a huge cauldron that was sitting on her stove and smiled serenely when a cloud of purple smoke erupted from the mixture._

_ "What are you making, Luna?" Harry asked, walking towards her._

_ "Oh, just a simple potion. Nargles have infested my home, and I need to get rid of them before they cause havoc. I think Ronald may have brought them when he was over last; his house is full of them." She was quiet for a moment, lost in thought. "Anyway, I know you haven't come here to ask about my cooking… what's on your mind, Harry?" she asked, turning her head to the side.  
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_ Harry gulped. "Well… it's, um… it's about Hermione," he said, blushing._

_ Luna beamed. "Have you finally realized your feelings for her? Oh, that is simply wonderful! I knew the two of you would become a couple and get married one day… I hope you serve pudding at your wedding. Pudding is very nice." She flittered about the kitchen, moving things around. "Sit down, Harry. You look like you are about to fall over," she said, pointing to a rather dangerous looking chair. Harry shook his head, rejecting her offer._

_ "But yes… I… I'm feeling… more than friendship towards Hermione. When I look at her… I never want to look away. She's gorgeous and smart and funny and caring and absolutely amazing… but I can't tell her how I feel. What if she doesn't feel the same way for me? What if she only thinks of me as a friend? I can't lose her, Luna, and if I have to stay as her friend in order for me to be with her then so be it. But I don't know… sometimes, I have this crazy feeling that she's looking at me the same way that I look at her, and it's wonderful and scary all at the same time. And what if we do get together and then break up? I will never regain the relationship that I have with her now. Things will be awkward between us and then… nothing. I don't know… there's too much of a risk." Harry ended his monologue with a sigh, running his hand through his already messy hair. _

_ Luna smiled thoughtfully, stirring the cauldron again. "But what if you're right, Harry? What if she does feel the same way? Then you'll regret not saying anything." She looked sad for a moment; Harry raised an eyebrow at her. "Harry, you have to take risks sometimes."_

_ Harry sighed again. "I want to, Luna. I just… I can't."_

_ "My mum said something once that I think would pertain to your situation. She once told me that I should 'never let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game'. I think that she was telling me that I should go for something, no matter what the risks. Harry, what would happen if you succeed?"_

_ Harry smiled at the thought. "I'd have Hermione."_

_ "Isn't she worth the risk?"_

_ He nodded, messing with his glasses. He walked over to Luna and hugged her, resting his head on hers. "Thanks, Luna."_

_ He could hear her smile when she said thanks. He chucked her under her chin and grinned before walking away. "Hey, Luna," he said, smirking. "You might want to follow your own advice."_

_ The last thing Harry saw before he apparated was Luna blushing._

Harry stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his slender waist. He walked over to the mirror, wiping the condensation and sighing. He had lost more weight ever since that talk with Luna, the day everything fell apart. Grabbing his glasses and a brush, he walked into his bedroom and threw on a random shirt and jeans. He walked out of the room and scraped the brush through his hair, throwing on his glasses. Harry chucked the brush on the table and walked outside, not having the energy to apparate. He needed to be somewhere, anywhere, besides inside of his head.

He crossed the street, not even bothering to look. He made a right and headed towards the one street that would lead him out of town and to the place he wanted, no, he **needed** to be.

_Harry didn't talk to Hermione about his feelings for a couple weeks or so. The two got together once a month, just the two of them, to catch up on what had happened in their lives. The last one was three days before Harry talked to Luna, so he had to wait until their next meeting. A part of him thought this was insane; he entertained the idea of apparating on her doorstep and declaring his love for her in song- that idea was created by the combination of lonely feelings and two or three firewhiskeys. _

_ However, Harry thought that he didn't have a romantic bone in his body. What happens if he chickened out? He'd be standing on her doorstep like an idiot without anything to say. He figured that if he told her his feelings when they had their scheduled meeting that if he did lose his nerve, he could continue talking about whatever they were talking about and she'd be none the wiser. _

_ Speaking of Hermione- he hadn't heard from her in a while. She'd usually floo once a week to see how he's doing. However, he hadn't talked to her all month. That was odd; she'd never done that before. _

_ He apparated to Diagon Alley, where he and Hermione had agreed to meet. There was a little coffee shop that the two had haunted for years. They usually had lunch and then walked through the shops, stopping in the Quidditch shop for Harry and the bookstore for Hermione. _

_ Harry grabbed their usual table, glancing at the menus in front of them. They were pointless; he could recite by heart what Hermione was going to order. He tossed it around in his hand, looking at his watch every few seconds. This wasn't like Hermione- she usually wasn't late. Not that ten minutes before the actual meeting time was late, it was just late for Hermione. He reached into his pocket, about to dial her cell phone._

_ Suddenly, he heard her call him._

_ "Harry!" she said from across the street, jogging towards him. His breath caught in his throat. It was a little brisk, so she had on her green coat, brown sweater, jeans, and boots. He thought she looked like an angel, with her brown ringlets cascading towards her waist. She sprinted towards him and threw her arms around him, giving him her signature Hermione hug. He rested his head on hers, smelling her vanilla shampoo._

_ "I missed you!" she said, taking a step back from him and appraising him. "Harry… you've lost weight," she criticized, lowering her eyebrows._

_ "Well, you know how I need to keep my figure in shape," Harry teased with mock seriousness, nudging her. "I'm fine, Hermione."_

_ "No, you're not, Harry. You're wasting away. Do I need to cook for you again?" Hermione asked, putting her hands on her hips._

_ Harry shook his head frantically, recalling the last time she cooked. She meant well, but cooking by hand was not her specialty. His stomach tumbled unpleasantly, recalling the taste of the rubbery pasta in her casserole last time. _

_ Hermione tucked her hair behind her ear, blushing suddenly. "Harry… I have something to tell you."_

_ Harry's heart skipped a beat and his mouth dried up. "I-I-I have something to tell you too."_

_ Hermione's eyes lit up. "You first." Harry shook his head._

_ "You first. You brought it up."_

_ Hermione took a deep breath. "I'm seeing someone."_

_ Harry's face fell momentarily before being the mask that he had cultivated all those years at Hogwarts. He could feel everything slipping away. His 'Mione… his 'Mione was someone else's. He felt this barrage of emotion- anger at the bastard for dating her, bitterness at himself for not having the balls to say anything, and rage towards her for not reading his mind and figuring out that he was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her. _

_ On the outside, however, he smiled, his expression not reaching his eyes. "That's… that's wonderful, Hermione."_

_ Hermione looked at him oddly. "Is something wrong, Harry?" He shook his head._

_ "Why would something be wrong? This is… this is great news!" Harry said, hesitating before resting his hand on her shoulder and looking an inch above her eyes. Hermione looked a little skeptical. _

_ "Really, Harry? I was really worried about your reaction, because I didn't know if you would think it was too soon after Ron…" she bit her lip, looking at her feet._

_ Harry was stunned. "No. No no no no no. Hermione, Ron was years ago. You… you deserve to be happy," he said, giving the pained smile again. Hermione was too giddy to recognize it, though. _

_ "You mean it? You have to meet him, Harry. His name is Robert, and we ran into each other at work. He's a Healer on the Memory floor and we met at a staff party. He's wonderful, Harry; I think the two of you would hit it off perfectly!" She gasped loudly. "He's coming over for dinner on Sunday! Ron and Lavender are coming; you should come to! Bring someone with you!" She laughed, giddy. She stopped suddenly._

_ "Was there something you wanted to tell me, Harry?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head. _

_ "Nothing like that. I… I saw Luna the other day. I think she likes someone," he said, throwing out the first thing that came to mind. _

_ Hermione wrinkled her nose, thinking. "Hmm… I wonder."_

_ Just then, the waiter came over. Harry ordered his dinner then ordered Hermione's, looking at her the entire time. The two chatted for a bit, Hermione talking about Robert most of the time while Harry sat in silence, his heart breaking with every agonizing minute._

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets as a seasonably uncharacteristic gust of wind blew from the north, ruffling his messy hair. He pulled the collar on his jacket up around his face, glancing at the darkening sky. It was going to rain.

"Let it rain," he mumbled to himself. Seemed perfect that the weather would match how he was feeling. Harry made another right, heading out of the city. He couldn't help it as he was pulled into another heartbreaking memory.

_"Hey Harry, are you busy Friday night? I'm having a dinner party; the Weasleys are coming over and we'd love to have you here." Hermione's voice floated through the telephone, sending shivers down Harry's spine. He smiled a little, wincing at the fact that she used 'we'. Damn Robert._

_ "Of course, 'Mione. You know I'm always available for you," he said, cringing at how sappy he sounded. His angel chuckled from the other line, and Harry's heart fluttered._

_ "Alright. Well, the party's at 7, so feel free to show up whenever you want to. Feel free to bring someone, if you want," Hermione said off-handedly. Harry heard the door open from Hermione's side and she hurriedly said goodbye, hanging up the phone. _

_ Friday night, Harry apparated to Hermione's (and Robert's; he had forgotten that the prat had moved in three months earlier) and knocked on the door. He waited all of two seconds before the door was thrust open and a mob of bushy brown hair attacked him in a hug. Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around the woman hugging him. Hermione took a step back, keeping an arm on him._

_ "Hi Harry!" she said, a little breathless. _

_ "Hi Hermione," Harry said, ecstatic. He looked down at the witch in front of him. Her hair was pulled back into a neat bun, with wisps of hair framing her face. She had a touch of make up on, enhancing her sparkling brown eyes. A simple red wrap dress and heels put together the entire ensemble. He watched her for a few seconds before someone cleared their throat; Robert was standing behind her, his hand extended. _

_ "Hello, Harry," Robert said, his deep voice booming and with little joy at the fact that Harry was here. _

_ Harry nodded. "Robert. Nice to see you again." Ron and Lavender were standing a few feet behind Hermione's boyfriend, grinning. _

_ "Hermione, give the man some breathing space," Ron said, rolling his eyes. Lavender smacked her husband, giggling._

_ "Be nice," she said, glaring playfully. Ron kissed the top of her head and walked over to Harry, giving his best friend a hug. Hermione grabbed Harry by the arm and half-led, half dragged him into the house._

_ "Everyone please sit down! Dinner's ready. Lavender, you mind helping me in the kitchen?" Hermione asked, tucking her hands in the apron that was around her waist. Lavender giggled and the girls walked into the kitchen, laughing. Robert followed the girls into the kitchen, leaving Ron and Harry alone in the dining room. _

_ The men were silent for a moment before Ron spoke up. "So Harry, how's work?"_

_ Harry chuckled. "Oddly quiet. We're working on a few leads as to the whereabouts of the last few Death Eaters, but other than that, all's pretty well. Knock on wood, but we haven't had another Dark Lord pretender, other than that one a year and a half ago. So, it hasn't been too bad. What about you?"_

_ Ron shrugged. "It's Quidditch. You win some. You lose some. You get paid. Nothing too impressive." He was quiet for a little bit. "But, uh, don't let her know I told you, because she wants to tell you herself, but I'm… I'm going to be a father," Ron said, going pale. _

_ Harry beamed and clapped his friend on the back. "Congratulations mate. That's… that's amazing!" He looked at Ron's face. "You look like you'd rather face Voldemort, though."_

_ Ron nodded, chuckling nervously. "Yeah. Lav's ecstatic. Never knew that she wanted to have kids. She never seemed like the type that would settle down, you know? But hey, I guess people change."_

_ Harry beamed and walked over to the table, grabbing his water glass and taking a sip._

_ Ron walked over to him and leaned in. "How's things with Hermione going?"_

_ Harry choked on his drink, some of it spilling on his shirt. "What do you mean?" he asked, coughing violently._

_ Ron slapped him on the back. "C'mon, mate. We've known each other for how long? I know you're in love with Hermione; I can see it on your face every time you look at her. You've been in love with her for years, haven't you?" he asked, sitting down and motioning to Harry to do the same. Harry slumped in the chair and nodded morosely. _

_ "How long have you known, Ron?" Harry asked, putting his head in his hands._

_ Ron was alarmed. "Look, mate, I didn't tell anyone. I mean, Lav already knew because of the way you look and act around Hermione, but I never told Hermione or Robert or anyone. And I've known for years; I think I knew even when she and I were together, but I just never wanted to admit it. I mean, Rita Skeeter picked it up in fourth year… she couldn't have just made it up- there has to be an ounce of truth to it in order for her to even come to the conclusion. But don't worry; Hermione's doesn't know."_

_ Harry was about to respond when the girls and Robert came back into the room. Hermione had a turkey in her hands and the gravy floating next to her. Robert and Lavender were holding the fixings. Hermione put the turkey down a little too quickly, causing it to slide off the edge of the plate. Harry fixed it, chuckling a little._

_ "Bit jumpy, eh, 'Mione?" he asked, sitting back down when the turkey was fixed. Hermione smiled and then looked at Robert. "I… we… have something to tell you," she said, talking to Harry and Ron. Robert wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist, and she put her left hand on his chest, showing off the huge diamond sitting on her ring finger._

_ Harry's jaw dropped. "Y-you're…" He couldn't bring himself to finish his statement. Hermione's face fell ever so slightly. _

_ "We're getting married!" she said, bringing the smile back to her face. Ron was smiling as he walked over to Hermione and gave her a hug. Ron was faced towards Harry, and his face was conflicted, but an open book; he was happy for Hermione, but knew how much this tore Harry apart. Harry stood up abruptly, his hands clenched into fists._

_ "Hermione, I've got to go," he said, moving towards the door. Hermione stepped out of Ron's embrace and walked over to Harry, grabbing his wrist. Harry refused to turn towards her, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand the expression in her eyes._

_ "Harry… what's wrong? Talk to me," she said, trying to turn him around. He gave up, turning to face her but staring straight at her forehead. He plastered a small, strained smile on his face and took a step back from her._

_ "I'm happy for you, Hermione. But I just looked at the time, and I have to run home and pick up Teddy from the sitter's. I'll… I'll talk to you later." He turned around and walked out of the house without a word._

_ "Harry," he heard Hermione call. Someone shushed her, probably her boyfriend… no, her fiancée. Harry couldn't take it, and apparation was out of the question, so he started walking the 5 miles back to his house._

Harry found the spot he was looking for: their tree. He knew that if he needed to go somewhere and think, this would be the perfect place to do it.

He and Hermione used to come here during the summertime. She would bring a book and he'd bring the mountain of paperwork that he had to complete. The two of them would sit underneath the tree; Harry would lean against the tree while Hermione would be on her stomach next to him. The two would spend hours in silence, Harry enjoying every single minute of it. When he had been concentrating for too long, he'd watch Hermione and the way she read. He started to notice little things about her; her nose wrinkled when she read something she didn't like, she'd bite her lip when something strenuous was happening, she'd laugh out loud when she found something funny. She liked to keep her hair off to her left shoulder and would be very angry when it wouldn't stay. When she started to question why Harry wasn't writing, he'd tell her he was board and that he was watching the clouds, which would cause her to patronize him for a half hour.

He remembered one time where he actually retaliated. Hermione had been scolding him for drifting off and was about to return to her book when Harry got this crazy look in his eye. He flipped her over so she was on her back and he started tickling her ribs. She screamed, giggling, and started smacking him with her hands. He straddled her stomach, pinning her hands above her head with one hand and tickling her with the other. He eventually stopped, not noticing that he was about an inch away from her. Hermione looked giddy, but then she noticed the proximity and bit her lip. Her expression was a little curious, and her eyes seemed to tell him to go on. Harry hesitated for a second and Hermione's face fell. "We… we should probably get back to work," she said, hesitating a little. Harry nodded and they resumed their original positions, blushing a little.

Harry sat under the tree, resting as a final memory came to the front of his mind.

_Hermione apparated into Harry's flat the next day. "Harry James Potter! I need to speak with you!" She searched around the house, finally finding him in his bedroom. "Harry Potter! Get up!" she shouted, dragging him out of bed._

_ Harry stumbled over to his bedside table and grabbed his glasses. "What the hell, Hermione?" he asked, still not awake enough to be really angry. Plus, he was so happy to see her._

_ "What the bloody hell was last night about?" she screamed. "You ruined my dinner, the time where I was supposed to be happy about announcing my engagement! You ruined it! What the hell was going through your miserable head?" she shouted, smacking his bare chest._

_ Harry could feel his anger starting up, but he didn't want to blow up at her. "Hermione, I told you. I had to go get Teddy. I'm sorry I walked out when I did, but I couldn't be late." He hated lying to her, but it was the only thing he could do._

_ "Harry, I know that's not what happened! I can see it on your face! What, do you think I'm stupid, that you can pull a fast one on me? I know you better than that, Harry! I know when you're lying!" Hermione started tearing up._

_ "I had to pick up Teddy! Can't you just accept that?" Harry retorted, not falling for the tears. _

_ "Don't lie to me! What happened? Talk to me. You're my best friend, Harry… I don't want there to be any secrets between us! Please… please let me in. Don't shut me out." She started sobbing, the tears rolling down her face. Harry softened at that._

_ "I… I can't, Hermione. It'll… it'll hurt you," he said, closing his eyes._

_ Hermione pulled his chin down to look at her. She placed her hands on either side of his face. "Harry. I won't get mad. Please… please tell me what's going on."_

_ Harry turned away, getting angry again. "Can't you just accept that I can't tell you? I'll lose you as a friend, Hermione, and I'd rather you be angry at me for keeping something from you than losing you completely. Look, I had to pick up Teddy. Yes, there's also a secondary reason, but the truth is that I had to go get him. End of story."_

_ He heard Hermione's voice raise again. "Harry, if you're going to keep secrets from me, then I'm not sure how we can be friends! We're supposed to tell everything, without judgment! But if you don't see me as one of your best friends, then maybe we shouldn't be friends at all. I'll just go," she said, turning away._

_ Harry growled and spun around, grabbing her by the back of her shoulder. He spun her around and crashed his lips on hers, tangling his hands in her hair. He pulled back; he had to get it out if this was going to be the last time she'd ever speak to him again. He had to lay everything on the table because he would never get a chance like this again._

_ "You want to know why I left last night Hermione? It's because I'm in love with you. It's because I can't stand to see you with another guy. It's because I don't want you to end up with that prat Robert or Josh or any of the other guys you dated. It's because I wish that was the ring that __**I **__had bought you sitting on your finger, with __**my**__ arms around your waist. I can see our future together, 'Mione. I can see us getting married and having children and growing old together. I __**love**__ you Hermione Jean Granger, and I can't stand to see you with another person. I love you." Harry concluded his speech by kissing her once again. _

_ The kiss was passionate. Harry poured everything that he wanted to say into it and was amazed to find out that she was kissing him back. He felt her hands wrap around his shoulders and burrow into his hair. His arms moved lower on her back, pressing her into him. It was mind blowing. It was stupendous. It was too perfect for words._

_ But of course, Harry could feel Hermione's brain working and within seconds she had pushed him away. She was crying again, bawling, and it was all his fault._

_ "Harry… Harry…" she started, but she couldn't finish. "Harry. I… I can't do this. I can't betray Robert. I…"_

_ "I get it," Harry said shortly. "You love him. Well, don't worry about sending me an invitation to your wedding. Take care of yourself, Hermione." _

_ "I'm sorry." She turned and ran out of his room. He heard the crack as she apparated. He sunk down to his knees and sobbed. The woman he had truly loved had just left his life for good._

Harry came back to reality as rain started pouring from the clouds. It was cold, it was wet, and the tree he was underneath provided little shelter from the storm. Suddenly, he heard chapel bells ringing from across the street. They were ringing for Hermione; her wedding had just taken place.

Harry felt his heart finally break into two. He knew that there was no going back; she was someone else's now, in body, mind, and spirit.

"I've lost her. I've lost everything I've ever wanted," Harry muttered out loud. She was gone.

Harry could feel himself slipping away. He curled into a little ball at the base of the tree, slowly closing his eyes.

A glimpse of white caught his attention before he drifted off into nothing.

_Alright! I hope you enjoyed Today! Don't worry; I thought that this was going to be a one-shot, but then the story ran off without me and I wasn't able to do the ending that I want, so I'll be writing a second part to this. Don't expect it within the next week or so- it took me about a year and a half to put this together, so it may take me a little while to finish it!_

_Anyway, I hope you liked it! Feel free to review and comment, just please don't flame. I like constructive criticism, but saying that my story just sucked and not providing any examples of why my story sucked is, well, sucky. _

_Feel free to read any of my other stories, but I will warn you that they're not that good. My writing style has changed so much…_

_~Cori_


	2. Chapter 2

_ Okay, I'm back to finish the job! I'm sorry for the wait; I just finished my first year of college and it was a little hectic to say the least… but I fell in love with this story again and I want to give it the ending that it deserves._

_ I've never been a fan of terrible endings, but if you're one of those people that enjoy them, feel free to stick with the first chapter- however, if you're a hopeless romantic like me, I hope you enjoy this._

_ And so we begin :)_

Harry opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the rain water from his vision. A figure in white was standing 100 feet in front of him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion; was this an apparition?

The figure came closer and closer, moving at a rapid pace… as if the person was sprinting. Harry merely closed his eyes again. If this was another Death Eater who wanted to end his life, the Death Eater had picked a good day for it. Harry felt no drive to fight back, no will to live. Honestly, all he wanted to do was curl up under the tree and live out the rest of his life in a ball.

However, fate never allows us to do what we want to do. It has it's own plan for us, whether we want it to be played out or not.

The figure came closer and closer. "Harry?" he heard the figure cry out. He opened his eyes again, groaning. He couldn't be alone for five minutes without someone looking for him.

"Harry?" the figure cried again, a little louder this time. Harry knew this voice instantly- it was a female voice, the voice he had heard every day since he was eleven, either in person or in his dreams.

This was Hermione Granger calling for him.

It took Harry a few seconds to recall why this was such a strange situation. Today was Hermione's wedding day. That explained the whole white dress thing. However, he had just heard the bells go off a few minutes ago. She should be married by now. She should be on the arm of her new husband in the back of a limo being whisked away to some far off place, or in a grand hall for the reception. It did not make any sense whatsoever for her to be sprinting like a maniac through the pouring down rain in a wedding gown.

Harry drew all the strength he could to stand up. Water dripped off his glasses and the tip of his nose. Hell, his glasses were steamed up because of the cold weather; he absent-mindedly placed a charm on them so he could actually see the anomaly that was about to occur. Hermione slowed down her pace until she was about six feet in front of him, where she came to an abrupt halt.

Harry gave her an once-over, no matter how much he didn't want to. Her hair, in what he expected to be an elegant updo, was hanging haphazardly down her back- some up, some down. Her makeup was running down the front of her face, causing her to bring a hand to her eyes to try to remove it. He hadn't seen her dress before, and he knew that when it was dry it was the most beautiful dress Hermione could ever wear. It was simple, with flowy short sleeves and a princess neckline. The dress floated to the floor and a brown sash was tied at her waist. It was exactly what he had pictured Hermione in, when the fantasy had come to mind.

Due to the mud, however, the bottom of the dress was soaked. She was standing in bare feet; she had lost her shoes on her run over. Harry forced himself to look back at her eyes again, which were burning- molten chocolate.

"Hermione," Harry started, his voice cracking from disuse. His heart ached to say her name. "Hermione," he said again, trying to start, "what are you doing here?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to find you, you blithering idiot. Why weren't you at my wedding?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I thought I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't going to come to a wedding where you would marry some bloke who wasn't me."

Hermione coolly nodded her head, expecting this reaction. "That still doesn't count. If you were my friend, you'd have been there."

Harry was taken back. "Hermione, you seriously want me to sit there and watch you marry someone else? That's like you watching Ron make out with Lavender in 6th year, but about a thousand times worse. I'm not going to put myself through that pain just to make you _happy_," he spat, his eyes hardening.

Hermione was silent for a little while, trying to figure out how to word what she was trying to say. "Well Harry, you wouldn't have watched me marry someone else."

He took a few minutes to process what she had said. He wouldn't have watched her marry someone else? What the hell did that mean?

She saw the confusion in his expression. "Harry, I didn't marry Robert," she said, taking a small step towards him. "I had the dress, the veil… everything was in place. I walked out onto the aisle with my father and looked towards the front of the church… and was disappointed that it was Robert standing up there. I… I… I don't love Robert, not like I thought I did."

Harry was taken aback. "Well… I'm glad you didn't go through with a marriage that would make you unhappy," he said formally, not knowing what to say.

Hermione gave a sad, small smile. "Harry, why didn't you say something?"

It took him a few seconds to realize what she was talking about. "I tried 'Mione. I tried so many times to pluck up the courage and tell you. I didn't realize it until a few weeks before you and Robert started dating and I tried to figure out how to let you know. I had this plan to go to your apartment and sing you a song or have some giant romantic gesture, but I'm not that guy Hermione. So I figured I'd let you know when we had lunch together but then you told me that you were dating someone and I just couldn't burden you with the fact that I loved you. Then I told myself that the second that you and Robert were apart I'd tell you but you never broke up, you got engaged so I had no way to tell you, but I knew I had to so I told you at the worst possible moment- your wedding day. There was… there was never a right moment for me to tell you how I feel," he sputtered rapidly.

Instead of the softening that Harry had expected, Hermione just got angrier. "Harry James Potter, why the hell did you not say something? I love you, you idiot, and I've been waiting for _years_ for you to tell me that you love me too. After so many years of heartbreak I figured that I'd move on, only to find out that I can't because you're still haunting me! And now I find out that you couldn't "pluck up the courage" or "burden me with the fact that you love me"! When are you going to stop being the martyr and finally do something without worrying about the consequences?" she shouted, getting closer to him in her anger.

Harry got angrier as well. "If you've been waiting for years, why the hell didn't _you_ say anything Hermione?"

Hermione bit her lip, her anger fading instantly. "I… I was worried as to what you'd say. I… I was afraid that… that my feelings wouldn't… wouldn't be reciprocated," she muttered, looking at the bottom of her ruined dress.

Harry took a step closer, finally bridging the gap between the two of them. With a sudden bought of courage that was probably a result of the conversation and a bit of insanity, he stared down at her, his eyes burning now. "Hermione, that thought should _never_ have run through your mind."

His hand found its way to the back of her neck and his other hand pulled her lower back towards him as he kissed her. The kiss was passionate, with both parties participating this time. Hermione's hands tangled into his hair, sending a shiver down Harry's spine. Hermione stood on her tiptoes, trying to press herself against Harry. His mind shut down; the only thing he knew was Hermione- the way she tasted, the way she felt, the way she sounded. Every thought was blown away, except for the knowledge that he loved her. She was his and he was hers; no one could break this. This kiss made all else disappear; she was his reason for living.

Slowly, the two pulled apart, staring at each other for a few moments. They both had a huge, goofy grin plastered to their faces. Harry's smile slowly faded, causing Hermione's eyebrows to raise.

"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked. He could see her mind going at the speed of sound, trying to figure out what could have upset him.

"The bells," he stated simply, "why did the bells ring if you and Robert didn't get married?"

Hermione chuckled. "It's four o'clock, Harry. They ring every hour."

Harry beamed. He leaned down to kiss Hermione, wrapping her in his arms, where she would stay for the rest of their lives.

_ I hope you enjoyed the second chapter as much as I loved writing it! It's shorter than the first chapter, I know, but this was the ending that I had in my head and I'm finally glad it's on (virtual) paper. I may or may not write a third chapter about their wedding; if so, I may just add it on to the bottom of this chapter or something… I don't know, it'll come to me._

_ Until next time! Thanks for reading! Love you all!_

_ ~Cori_


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